22 March 2013 ~ 0 Comments

Guest Post by Phil Taylor, author of White Picket Prisons

I’m going to do this a little bit differently, because reading isn’t about the writer; it’s about you, the reader! When you read a book do you go straight to the author bio, or do you jump into the story and maybe read the back flap if you really liked the book? Yeah, me too. I’m hoping that if you like my writing in a tiny dose that you’ll want to check out my novel. Here is a something from my blog, The Phil Factor.

Christian Slater is my Darth Vader

In much the same way that Darth Vader dogged Luke Skywalker throughout the series of Star Wars movies, Christian Slater has dogged me; one upping and thwarting me at every turn and stealing my success, all the while smiling smugly and skating away after a wry, sarcastic comment. Well no more I say. Hear me now and hear me loud Christian Michael Leonard Slater. Your bloody reign of terror is in its waning moments and I shall savor my victory. Or perhaps, much like Luke and Darth Vader, there will be reconciliation and you will join the side of the righteous and the good.

Our story began in the maternity ward of a New York City hospital in the late 1960’s. As our parents stood side by side gazing lovingly at us in our bassinets they discussed names. My parents proudly named me with a regal middle moniker from my maternal grandfather. As my parents proudly revealed my name, your parents, with a look of concern, or perhaps scorn, huddled and whispered hurriedly before turning and smiling smugly as they revealed that you would be called Christian Michael Leonard Slater, the boy with TWO middle names! Only hours out of the womb and you were already attempting to steal my infantile thunder. “Curse you! You swaddled demon!” I thought to myself as I shook my tiny fist in the direction of your bassinet.

Of course our school years were inexorably linked with the spelling bees, school plays, and, of course, who can forget the 1975 Cub Scout Troup 316 Pinewood Derby? Each and every time my dream of grasping that golden ring, that top stair on the podium, that starring role or just a moment of applause from my classmates seemed so close until…until the golden boy, Christian would swoop in at the last moment and spell the word, remember the line, or perhaps have a Pinewood Derby car that seemed just a little too fast to be only 5 ounces.

Then of course came high school where I was the shy, skinny, guy on the track team while you were the rebellious, edgy outsider that all the emo chicks were into. Grudgingly I have to admit that I did listen to your pirate radio station, but I hated myself for doing it.

As an adult now, those petty childhood competitions are behind us. I thought I had moved on. But then, just when you had forgotten about me, you slipped. You left the door open a tiny crack and I plan to come barging through like the Kool-Aid pitcher on a hot summer day. I’m sure you were hoping I wouldn’t notice, but I did. It turns out Christian that I was one of the very few that noticed that you “starred” in a movie last year. Your movie Playback was only shown in a single theater for a single week. Playback grossed a whopping total of $264.00. Really? $264? Isn’t that pretty much just tickets and snacks for a family of four at the movies?

Dear Christian, it might interest you to know that in 2012, I, Philip One Middle Name Taylor, released a book, a short novel, White Picket Prisons. Much like the lion of the Serengeti, I am stalking you and your paltry $264 movie. I dare to dream that I could take down my mythical Darth Vader. That sad little movie will be your Deathstar and your downfall as my novel grosses more than $264. I’m not there yet, but I am confident, Christian, that with the support of my friends, I shall finally best you. Where are your friends Christian? Certainly not in that theater watching Playback. A few years from now I also hope to savor the final irony as you come groveling, begging to play the role of Cooper in the Lifetime network movie based on White Picket Prisons.

If you’ve gotten to this point, thank you for reading it all. If you like my writing you can find my humorous, murder mystery novel, White Picket Prisons, on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes and most electronic book retailers. If you think you can only tolerate me in small doses, follow me on Facebook and read my blog, The Phil Factor.

About the Author:

Phil Taylor is a father of three, husband to one, and life-long smart ass to many. He has been well trained by his two dogs and a cat and is a loyal servant to them all. Phil is an excellent ping-pong player and claims to make the best grilled cheese sandwiches in the world, bar none. He has a Master’s degree in Psychology and spent many years working in the field of mental health before realizing that stringing words together might be a little bit more fun. His first fiction novel, White Picket Prisons, is an ode to the life-long friends that shaped his life.

Description:

A coming of age story about four men who never really did. Lifelong friends are drawn to the neighborhood of their youth for a funeral and for the first time they see the idyllic neighborhood of their childhood through the eyes of adults and their shocking discoveries challenge everything they thought they knew about themselves and each other. Our heroes are the guys next door, grown ups by day but the same goofy kids they always were when they’re together, humorously meeting adulthood and a murder mystery head on. The question is not will they survive the bad guys, but will they survive each other? With something for everyone White Picket Prisons is equal parts suspense, humor, nostalgia, and a little romance and a car chase thrown in for good measure.

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