24 February 2011 ~ 0 Comments

I Am Ozzy by Ozzy Osbourne and Chris Ayres

Dude. Ozzy wrote a book. No, really, seriously. I admit that I kinda scratched my head when I heard that he had one coming out. It’s taken me a while to read it because… well, I can barely understand what the dude is saying these days. I’m kind of scared of what he’ll write – or if it will be coherent. The man has taken so many drugs throughout his life, I’d be surprised if he remembers his own name…

Imagine my surprise when I found his story is actually quite fascinating. A big kudos to him for getting that story out and for his co-writer for putting it all together. I can’t imagine that could have been an easy feat, a lot has happen in his sixty-something years.

I will admit that Ozzy has always been a bit of a joke to me. There’s absolutely no doubt that he has talent – even today. There’s also absolutely no doubt that deep down there is this amazingly lovable family guy, anyone that watched The Osbournes saw that. You just can’t fake some things.

I guess I never thought about where Ozzy came from. I mean, he’s Ozzy Osbourne, Prince of Efffing Darkness. Would anyone claim him? I guess I just assumed he fell from the sky (or rose from the fire pits as the case may be), but I like that he let us into his younger life and who he was and where he came from. It humanized him.

I was also surprised by how honest Ozzy was. He says some pretty despicable things about himself – and he even says they were despicable. Shooting chickens just because, using women, abusing drugs to the extreme, hitting his wives, being wasted at times he really shouldn’t be, etc. I was shocked that he did these things, but they also didn’t make me hate him. I felt a little sorry for him (and, yes, I was laughing, they did a great job of making something horrible not be terrible). Now THAT is good writing.

Honestly, this memoir could have been a disaster and the first few chapters are hard to follow at times while you get used to the writing style. It ended up being very well done, indeed. I’m surprised I enjoyed it so much.

I was left a little sad that it took him so long to kick his addictions. He seems to have missed out on so much in life – and did things that he will regret until the day he dies. In that way, he’s a bit sad.

I recommend this for all fans of Ozzy or those who want to know more about his early life. Well worth a read.

“They’ve said some crazy things about me over the years. I mean, okay: ‘He bit the head off a bat.’ Yes. ‘He bit the head off a dove.’ Yes. But then you hear things like, ‘Ozzy went to the show last night, but he wouldn’t perform until he’d killed fifteen puppies . . .’ Now me, kill fifteen puppies? I love puppies. I’ve got eighteen of the f**king things at home. I’ve killed a few cows in my time, mind you. And the chickens. I shot the chickens in my house that night.

It haunts me, all this crazy stuff. Every day of my life has been an event. I took lethal combinations of booze and drugs for thirty f**king years. I survived a direct hit by a plane, suicidal overdoses, STDs. I’ve been accused of attempted murder. Then I almost died while riding over a bump on a quad bike at f**king two miles per hour.

People ask me how come I’m still alive, and I don’t know what to say. When I was growing up, if you’d have put me up against a wall with the other kids from my street and asked me which one of us was gonna make it to the age of sixty, which one of us would end up with five kids and four grandkids and houses in Buckinghamshire and Beverly Hills, I wouldn’t have put money on me, no f**king way. But here I am: ready to tell my story, in my own words, for the first time.

A lot of it ain’t gonna be pretty. I’ve done some bad things in my time. I’ve always been drawn to the dark side, me. But I ain’t the devil. I’m just John Osbourne: a working-class kid from Aston, who quit his job in the factory and went looking for a good time.”

Rating: ★★★★☆

Book count for 2011: 13

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